Never Give Up On Your Dreams

Artist: Darrell Urban Black
Since my early childhood years, I loved to create Futuristic cities and spacecraft out of kitchen utensils Forks, Spoons and Knives and during my teenage years my parents separated, Mom with her children in tow made the transition to Brentwood, Long Island N.Y. As a teenager in a new community I quickly lost interest in these imaginative endeavors and had more of a willingness to interact with other teens, my first encounter with another youth happened while waiting for the school bus on the corner of my block and being my first day of school I was obviously nervous and full of anxiety, not knowing what to expect. While waiting a boy approached that same bus stop and as we both stood side by side not saying a word to each other he suddenly turned toward me and started wrestling me to the ground moments later the school bus came; we then both got up he introduced himself and said his name is Ruben, I replied my name is Darrell, we then shook hands and boarded the bus. I later found out that Ruben, was a big ‘’Bruce Lee’’ fan and this attack was only to test out some new kung Fu moves.
This initial encounter and friendship would be partially responsible for encouraging my artistic expression on paper and as our friendship grew he introduced me to his family and other friends in the neighborhood, including his soon to be girlfriend Lilly. We became good friends going to the movies, restaurants or just simply hanging out together. Lilly, had two brothers Michael and Alex, who hung out with us on occasion. I would visit Ruben or Lilly’s home where I was always welcomed and having Puerto Rican backgrounds they had many fine traditions one in particular, is when you come to there home the parents insist you stay for dinner it’s their way of showing they like and appreciate you. Often, I had dinner at Ruben’s parents home and when we visited Lilly, we ate again. Ruben, and I quickly decided if we already ate at his home it was then best to avoid Lilly’s parents until late in the evening.
I spent a lot of time at Ruben, and Lilly’s home respectively, In my home, life was not always pleasant for me or my siblings the main reason Mom, remarried a man my siblings despised — a big belly, bearded, sloppy dressed man with a receding hairline who was a handyman of sorts, a jack-of-all-trades but master of none. My Dad, on the other hand was well groomed and worked as an Avionics Technician for Pan Am. During those turbulent years I tried to get along with Mom’s husband John, but my siblings would not budge. When we kids became unruly Mom, a big believer in supernatural forces, purchased three spiritual red candles and wrote our names on a separate piece of paper, placing each name under the candles and lighting them. Mom, claimed we would get better but we only got worst. My younger and older siblings fought each other on a daily basis, I would often find myself in the middle trying to promote peace and harmony between them and they would almost always be annoyed with my interference and would plot to attack me.
At home I felt like the only person going through an ordeal but that was not the case Ruben, also had his share of problems too jockeying for his father’s affection Ruben, found himself at odds with his younger brother Eddie, who was the apple of Ruben’s father’s eye. Eddie, was very good in school and had plans to join the Navy. It was obvious, he was his father’s pride and joy. Ruben’s mother was more sympathetic and loving towards Ruben, but I felt that Ruben, very much wanted his father’s approval. Lilly, also had her share of problems her father, did not approve of her relationship which was a constant bother for Lilly, this might help explain why we found comfort in each other’s company with a friendship leading me on the path to creation
Which began on a rainy afternoon with nothing for our group of neighborhood friends to do Lilly, made the suggestion that we all go to her Mom’s home, when we arrived Lilly, invited everyone to sit around her dining room table then she made another suggestion that we should draw some pictures; everyone agreed so Lilly, went to her bedroom and got a stack of paper and pens and placed them in the middle of the dining room table each person, took a sheet of paper and a pen and started to draw. The drawings, ranged from stick figures to little obscenities and as each person finished there artwork, they started to leave the table one by one until I was the only one left, still working on my second drawing, when I was done Lilly, quickly picked up my two drawings to show them first to her sister and brother in law who started to make comparisons to artist like Picasso, Van Gogh and Matisse, names I never heard of before then, she showed them to her mother who did not speak English, but seemed very excited and impressed with the two drawings, I then decided that afternoon to keep creating artworks on paper. That same year Ruben and I joined The ‘’National Guard’’ under the buddy system But Ruben, had some medical Issues and could not complete the training.
After returning home from two weeks of ‘’Army National Guard’’ duty full of excitement and anticipation to study my past drawings in preparation to create new artworks; went to the basement where I always created my art expecting to find them readily available instead, it ended in a frantic search to no avail, I broke out in a cold sweat only thinking the worst that my artworks were thrown away or missing not finding my drawings my worst nightmare had been realized, could not believe it! I was devastated having to face the reality my early artwork was gone forever. After such a massive loss, I decided never to draw again and leave New York by joining the Regular Army.
After finishing basic and technical training, I arrived in Germany, in the spring of 1988, along with many other young new recruits we were all sent to a relocation center at Frankfurt, Rhein Main Airbase. The end of each working day many ‘’Tour Buses’’ lined the parking lot of the relocation center with all new recruits in formation outside waiting to be called forward from a list read aloud. The soldiers were then loaded onto waiting buses and taken to Military Bases throughout Germany. This relocation process normally took three days to complete and on the third day me and two other soldiers, were still left. With no more outside formation or buses lined up in the Parking Lot, I started to think a mistake was made that maybe they missed my name during roll call then suddenly one Staff Member, told me to pack my Bags I would be leaving tonight and my new Military Assignment would be in the city of Frankfurt, at that moment a calming effect came over me, didn’t know this city or the country for that matter but I Somehow felt at home here. Late that evening, a Mini Bus came to pick me up and I arrived at the ‘’109th Military Police Company’’ At first glance it was unlike traditional rigid military Barracks, the environment was very modern and cohabitant. I meet my roommate, who was just picking up a few items for the weekend he introduced himself and stated he lives with his Girlfriend but I’m welcomed to use anything in the room which consisted of TV, Stereo and Refrigerator full of Beer. That same evening, I meet some more fellow soldiers including, my direct line supervisor who was congenial in temperament.
My job as a Communication Specialist was from Monday thru Friday with most weekends off during my free time soldiers would offer to introduce me to Downtown Frankfurt, where I had my first taste of German beer. I spent most weekends in Frankfurt, Sachsenhausen, drinking and partying the whole night that life Style of decadence, put my art and creative ambition on hold and eventually forgotten. But in the spring of 1991, while in my barracks room recovering from another weekend of partying, I decided to cleanup the room beginning with boxes of personal belongings that contained letters and pictures from back home. I started, with the first box reading old letters and reminiscing on old Photographs of family and friends and as I got to the bottom of the Box, I stumbled across ten photos of artwork images, that I photographed during my ambitious attempt at becoming a visual artist. At that moment, remembering how creative I use to be and how easy it was to draw and the amount of pleasure it gave me. Immediately, I picked up a pen and paper and made a futile attempt at drawing each and every image was the same ‘’Scribble, Scribal!’’ Creativity, no longer came easily it was lost I then decided to give up partying and spend most weekends practicing drawing again and after many failed attempts I started to see imagery on paper at that moment, I vowed never to abandon my art again. I left the military in April, of 1992 and presently work and reside in Frankfurt, Germany where I continue to strive as an artist.

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